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Seb Patrick / 18.05.05 / 12:26 am

Cassandra

I don’t understand how Cassandra is so much better than the rest of Series VIII. I really don’t.

It’s not just that the story is a good one that feels like it could have come from anywhere from about IV onwards, or that it has a top notch guest star. If you look at the quality of the gags in the opening bunkroom scene, and throughout the entire episode, in fact, they’re just much better than anything else the series has to offer. “Maybe you can fault it on the fact that I’m not a dog”. “I had everything, and I threw it all away”. “Cunnilingus”. “The time just flew past”. “I’ve signed you up, too”. “You are the sunshine of my life”. “A man”. “I read it on this mission directive here”. “Aww, but Cassandra promised”. “That doesn’t excuse my other four senses!” “Would it have killed him to take thirty minutes longer? Ten, even? Two would have done…” I could go on, but you get the idea. Most of those gags come from the first ten minutes of the episode, and there are more great lines there than there are in the rest of the series put together.

How? How does Doug manage to put all the best bits in one episode and leave such utter dross for the remaining seven episodes (the notable exception being “Follow the Rimmer-shaped blur”)? Moreover, how much of a crushing disappointment is the fact that “Krytie TV” follows it?

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