RIMMER: You’ve got a scar? When did you get that?
LISTER: Those complimentary pens that the hospital guys were giving out – you know “most accidents happen in the home, so be careful” ones? I accidentally stabbed myself in the head with one.
RIMMER: Where were you?
LISTER: I wasn’t at home, so I didn’t feel stupid or anything.
I like this a lot.